Tolerate, endure, endure. The witness diary of a tragic era

MOSCOW. In the New Literary Review, the Diary of Lyubov Shaporina was reissued.

“I… am cut off from the whole world and doomed to grief. I have no one to say a word with, and no one to console me. " Robinson Crusoe poured deadly longing in his diary, so as not to despair and gain hope. The unlucky traveler was a born psychotherapist. He balanced the obvious disadvantages of his unenviable position with the encouraging advantages that can be found even in the most difficult situations. This helped him not to lose his mind, to wait for the release from the 28-year-old captivity of an uninhabited island and return to his usual life.

The born noblewoman Lyubov Vasilievna Yakovleva-Shaporina returned from emigration to a fully inhabited space, heeding the calls of her husband. A well-known composer who fit in well with the realities of post-revolutionary Russia. The illusory reunion of the family did not save her from the shock of what she saw, nor from the acute feeling of loneliness that did not leave her until the last days. The routine of daily arrests, the ruthlessness of the struggle against class alien "elements", the desire of the intelligentsia to escape anywhere and the realization that there is no way out of this trap. “The warped ruined life of a living talented person. And millions of ruined fates. "

The diary, begun in 1898, for 70 years remained an outlet for her, an opportunity to keep her mind, to be completely frank even on paper. An excellent education, knowledge of several languages, and adaptability to any work are the only wealth that has remained from the previous life and helped to survive. During the time of repression, during the blockade, in the difficult post-war years. Shaporina is the founder of the Petrograd puppet theater, a talented artist, a brilliant translator. Life pushed her with many famous people. On the pages of the diary there are the names of Tolstoy, Shostakovich, Akhmatova, Kruglikova and many others. She could not, like Pamela Trands (Pamela Lyndon Travers), who visited Russia in the early 30s and described the impressions of this trip in the book "Moscow Tour", to return to her familiar world. Only accept the absurdity noted by the English woman will accept Soviet life and the need to endure, endure, endure.

Unlike the hero of the book, Daniel Defoe, Lyudmila Shaporina was not destined to escape from the absurd reality.

Elena Tanakova © Gallerix.ru