"Aargh" by Andrey Belyanin, summary

"Aargh" is an ironic fantasy novel by Andrey Belyanin, published in 2007. This book is an original inversion of the racial stereotypes of traditional fairy tale literature. The protagonist, a member of the mountain people of Aargh, nicknamed "Baby," possesses encyclopedic knowledge and high intelligence, but skillfully feigns ignorance to fit the expectations of others. The novel received high praise from critics and readers, being nominated for the 2007 "World of Fantasy" awards in the categories "Book of the Year" and "Best Russian Fantasy." The novel is the first in a trilogy of the same name, which also includes "Aargh in the Elf Cave" and "Aargh on the Throne."

The Beginning of the Journey and the Secret Mission

The events begin in the border tavern of the former mercenary Truvor. A mighty aargh nicknamed "The Kid" is reading an encyclopedia when an arrogant nobleman from the capital, Count Ashley Elgenhauer Jr., enters the establishment, accompanied by two bodyguards. The Count provokes a quarrel, but "The Kid" easily neutralizes the mercenaries, throwing one into the oak doorframe and pinning the other with a table.

Local visitors fleece the nobleman. The stripped and battered count follows the Kid, offering to hire him as a servant and bodyguard for a generous reward. Ashley claims to be on a secret mission for her uncle, the commander-in-chief of the Imperial Guard.

On the road, they are attacked by three armed, black-cloaked secret police horsemen. The Kid defuses the situation: he bites the horse’s ear, yanks the crossbowman from his saddle, and ties him up with his cloak. The attacker’s commander stabs his cowardly bodyguard and flees. The Kid agrees to accompany the Count in the hopes of receiving an advance.

The village and the encounter with evil spirits

The travelers arrive at a small village of six households. A naked Ashley enters the temple of the Beast God, disturbing the locals and angering the peasants. To settle the dispute, the Kid gives the villagers a gilded coin, in exchange for which the Count is given a modest peasant robe.

Fleeing from a squad of fifty mounted warriors, the heroes take refuge in the forest. There they encounter a hnara — a terrifying abomination in the form of a fox skeleton with a woman’s skull. Hnara offers the Kid gold for Ashley’s life, but Aargh refuses the deal and, with a clap of his hands, smashes the monster’s skull into dust.

Ashley reveals the nature of her mission. The Empire has witnessed the appearance of animated doll witches wielding dark magic. The only clue leads to Truvor’s border tavern.

Pogroms at Truvor and oncoming satellites

Returning to the tavern, the heroes find it occupied by a squad of secret police (the "Red Sleeves"). Ashley disguises herself in a voluminous maid’s dress, causing a commotion among the mercenaries. In the ensuing brawl, Little Boy and Truvor defeat the black-cloaked warriors, and their commander is thrown out of the window frame.

On the back of the bar counter, Kid finds a burnt-out inscription reading "Crow’s Waste, No Sword or Armor" and an image of a lizard. A familiar mercenary, Sun, a masked professional warrior, joins the party. At the night camp, the heroes are attacked by three dozen animated dolls. Kid and Sun destroy the attack, but the mercenary is stabbed by a poisoned needle, and Aargh has to suck the poison out of her wound.

Negotiations with the Elves

At the border of Raven’s Heath, the party is surrounded by a group of forty elven archers. Keeper Irondal explains that someone in their forests is secretly killing elves for their ancient blood. Suspicion falls on the Gray Sisters. Irondal shows the heroes the way to the Blind River.

At the elven camp, the group is joined by a young elf named Elander. That night, they are attacked again by secret police warriors, accompanied by two dwarven rangers — Turom the Big-Axe and Neturom the Thick-Haired. Ashley distracts the warriors with a performance featuring elven women, while Sun neutralizes the enemies. The next morning, Sun temporarily leaves the companions, returning the advance, and Baby notices a lizard tattoo under her hair.

Events at the Blind River

On the banks of the Blind River, the heroes discover a bridge made of ox hides, across which two young witches are ferrying a line of animated dolls. The child destroys the magical bridge. After hanging the witches from a tree, Ashley tickles them into revealing information: their clan is recruiting the girls to control their supply lines.

At that moment, the dwarves Turom and Neturom approach, having captured Elander. Their attempt at blackmail is interrupted by the appearance of the Sister-Mentor, walking right on the water. When the Sister-Mentor attempts to destroy the errant students with purple snakes, Little One throws a knife. In response, the Sister-Mentor summons forty of her magical clones.

In a fierce battle, the dwarves, the elf, and the Kid destroy their opponents. With a well-aimed axe throw, Tur decapitates the true mentor, causing all her phantoms to crumble to dust. After placing the severed head in a pen of stakes and hot coals, the heroes interrogate it. The head reveals that the Gray Sisters’ castle is located in the western mountains, and the lizard mark is bestowed upon the highest servants.

Vrlak ambush and duel with Berlobog

In the forest, the reunited squad is overtaken by the mercenary Sun. She warns of an approaching pack of vrlak — ruthless wolf-hyena hybrids. The heroes take refuge in the pine trees. Two young witches leap toward the predators, hoping for mercy, but the beasts immediately tear them apart.

In the ensuing battle, Kid breaks the monsters’ backs, Ashley strikes one vrlak in the throat with a sabre, Elander wounds them with a dagger, and the dwarves crush their skulls with axes. Near the maidens’ tortured bodies, the heroes find a bloody ritual drawing and encounter Berlobog — an ancient master of the forest, impenetrable to weapons.

To save his companions, Baby engages the giant bear in hand-to-hand combat. Aargh holds the beast at bay with his fists until the first rays of sun appear, while Berlobog retreats back into the thicket. Baby falls unconscious.

Storming the Wandering Castle

Upon awakening, Little Boy learns that Sun was hired to escort Ashley, but was unable to betray her friends. Soon, a mountain groll attacks the mercenary and carries her off to a cave. The heroes catch up with the monster, and Little Boy frees Sun by kicking the towering giant in his weak spot, while Elander blinds him with a reed arrow.

The party reaches the Wandering Castle of the Witches, hanging over a mountain chasm. Sun leads everyone to a sabbath in honor of Beltane Night. Near the "place of power," the Supreme Witch bestows the sign of the lizard upon new followers. When the spies are discovered, the Supreme Witch uses magic, but the appearance of a blinded troll causes panic.

In the ensuing chaos, the Kid strikes two of the Supreme’s assistants with an axe and a knife. In response, a purple bolt of lightning knocks the aargh off his feet, and the Supreme turns him into a dwarf.

The finale at the castle and the return

Retaining his strength despite his small stature, the Kid, along with the dwarves, frees Count Ashley and the elf Ungorn, a fugitive teacher from the capital who had been transformed into a troll by a witch, from the dungeon. The dwarves cut off the lizard tattoo from the Kid’s skin, which had been trying to control his mind.

The climactic battle unfolds in the Supreme One’s private chambers. Ashley engages in a fencing duel with the witch. When she attempts to destroy the heroes with a spell, Ungorn, now enlightened and in the form of a troll, shields them and sucks out the remains of the brand. The child regains his former colossal stature and crushes the Supreme One with his sheer weight.

Power in the castle passes to the second deputy, who promises to stop smuggling and attacks. Having taken rich loot from the treasury, the heroes return. Sun bids farewell to the party, and Ashley decides to go with Little One to the mountains to visit his mother to wait out the political storm in the capital.