"You Are My Happiness" by Asya Lavrinovich, summary Automatic translate

Asya Lavrinovich’s novel "You Are My Happiness" was published in 2020. Its plot centers on the journey that changes the relationship between Maya Mikhailova and Bogdan Volkov. Narrated from Maya’s perspective, the story is immediately tinged with her long-held, almost childish love and the constant expectation that Bogdan will one day see her as a woman, not his friend’s younger sister.

Maya recalls that her feelings for Bogdan began almost nine years ago, during her school years, when she was a child in new pink boots and looked at him as if he belonged to another, adult world. Bogdan is closely connected to her family because he has been friends with Vitya, Maya’s older brother, for many years. This friendship also has its own history: Vitya, a calm and kind straight-A student, once sat at the same desk with Bogdan and gradually became his closest friend.

For Maya, Bogdan has long been an obsessive, almost painful love, one she can neither fully hide nor overcome. She grows, matures, experiences her school years, does both kind and awkward things, but in his eyes, she still remains a child. Even when Maya tries to act serious, help others, and be brave, Bogdan looks at her condescendingly, as if she were a girl too young for true feelings.

The turning point begins the day Maya accidentally overhears a conversation between Vitya and Bohdan. She learns that Bohdan wants to find his biological father, whom he’s never met, and is planning a trip to do so. He invites Vitya to go with him, but he has his own plans and commitments, so the conversation stalls. Maya immediately realizes that this chance encounter offers her a rare opportunity to be with Bohdan for an extended period, away from the familiar confines of home.

She decides to lie and tells her parents she’s going to visit her friend Anisa for a few days. Her friend agrees to cover for her, and no one at home suspects anything, so Maya leaves with Bogdan without much trouble. Volkov himself isn’t thrilled with this change, as he’d been counting on a completely different companion, and at the start of the trip, he’s irritated by both Maya’s chatter and her attempts to appear mature.

At first, the trip is uneven: Maya is nervous, says too much, tries to catch every change in Bogdan’s mood, and constantly waits for even the slightest sign that he’s begun to see her differently. Bogdan remains distant, sometimes abrupt, but a new intimacy is already developing between them, because they are alone, without Vitya, without their home, without their usual roles. For the first time, Maya sees him not only as the object of her affection, but as a man with a difficult family history and inner turmoil.

The journey quickly becomes more than just a stroll. Bogdan’s car breaks down on a rough dirt road, the surrounding area is almost deserted, and there’s no help to be found. They are forced to abandon the car and continue on foot. Maya also discovers that they’ve forgotten some of their belongings and food, so the journey immediately takes on a chaotic, almost adventurous, quality.

When night falls, they pass an old cemetery, and this part of the journey becomes especially difficult for Maya. The darkness, the crosses, the moonlight on the branches, and the silence frighten her to the point of genuine trembling. Bogdan has to reassure her, and it is in this uncomfortable, terrifying environment that the first genuine human warmth, free from mockery and playfulness, emerges between them. Maya feels that she is still afraid around him, but in a different way, because now fear is mixed with trust.

Village

After wandering for a long time, they reach a village, where they find shelter with Svetlana Matveyevna. This woman welcomes them warmly and simply, feeding them, putting them to bed, and becoming a temporary support amid the chaos of the road. In the village, Maya temporarily escapes the constant movement and, for the first time, is able to look at the world with a little more calm.

That’s where Rinat, a local boy, appears and quickly takes notice of Maya. He walks her home, flirts with her, tries to be close, and several times tries to turn their casual acquaintance into a full-blown courtship. For Maya, this hardly matters, as all her affections have long been preoccupied with Bohdan, but for Bohdan himself, Rinat is an unpleasant signal. He doesn’t yet call it jealousy, but Maya notices a change in his gaze and behavior.

In the village, their relationship becomes both more complex and closer. Maya is no longer so helpless around him, and Bogdan increasingly notices her maturity, stubbornness, and devotion. He sees not the girl from the past, but a person who left home for him, enduring hardships, and not backing down even when the road clearly doesn’t turn out as expected.

This is especially evident when Bogdan falls ill. He weakens, stays in bed, and Maya takes over his care, barely leaving his bedside. Svetlana Matveyevna helps with her home care, and Maya watches his every move, worries, and tries to be helpful. In this part of the story, her love ceases to be just a dream and becomes an act.

Later, when Bogdan is feeling better, they go to a village disco. There, amid the cramped hall, loud music, the smell of cigarettes, and the stares of strangers, they have a conversation that Maya remembers especially vividly. Bogdan speaks of love, of the desire to fall in love, and Maya takes these words as a hint, though she’s still far from certain. A tension lingers between them, in which tenderness constantly mingles with awkwardness.

Further down the road

After the village, the journey continues, and the trip once again becomes a series of chance encounters, fatigue, conversations, and new obstacles. Maya and Bogdan meet Olya, and then her uncle, Sergei Vyacheslavovich, who welcomes them warmly and feeds them a late dinner. This episode is important not for its external action, but because the characters increasingly become accustomed to existing side by side as a couple, experiencing the journey together and no longer able to pretend that nothing is happening between them.

The further they go, the weaker the old roles become. Maya tries less to pretend to be someone else, and Bogdan opens up to her more and more, no longer able to hide behind his usual irony. Their connection grows from small things: from fatigue, from shared silence, from jealousy, from care, from the fact that one is always there when the other is struggling.

Father

Finally, they reach the very address that had started the entire journey. Bogdan goes to his father, and Maya waits outside in the pouring rain. For her, these are moments of anxiety, because she understands how much Bogdan has invested in this search and how painfully this meeting could end for him.

When Bogdan comes back out, it’s immediately clear that nothing good has happened. He’s furious and hurt, abruptly opening the door, declaring that they shouldn’t have come here, and his entire demeanor betrays a deep sense of disappointment. Meeting his father brings him no comfort, no clarity, no sense of finding family. On the contrary, it exposes an old wound and shatters the hope that kept him going for so long.

Maya stays by his side precisely when Bohdan is going through his toughest times. She doesn’t utter harsh words or try to lecture him, but simply shares his pain and doesn’t leave him alone. After that, almost all the distance between them disappears, because Maya becomes the person Bohdan can stand by even the hardest times with.

The final scenes take place on the shore of the Gulf of Finland. Maya and Bogdan walk across the wet sand, leaving sneaker tracks, and their conversation is no longer as ambiguous as it once was. Bogdan comes to a clear confession of his feelings, and Maya finally receives the reciprocity she’s dreamed of for so many years. They write the word "Happiness" in the sand, and the wave quickly washes it away. For them, this is no longer a loss, but a sign that what they sought remains not on the shore, but between them.