Summary of "The Rusty Sword of Tsar Pea" by Andrei Belyanin

The ironic and adventurous detective story "The Rusty Sword of Tsar Pea," published in 2000, neatly combines a dynamic plot with light humor. The story is told from the perspective of Moscow policeman Nikita Ivashov, transported by fate to the fairytale Russia of the time of Tsar Pea and appointed head of the first Lukoshkin police station. A task force consisting of Nikita, the military commander, Baba Yaga expert, and the hero Mitya Lobov, supported by the Streltsy squadron commander Foma Yeremeyev, maintains law and order in the capital. The story is part of the popular "Secret Investigation of Tsar Pea" series, numbered #5. The series also includes the works "The Secret Investigation of Tsar Pea", "The Conspiracy of the Black Mass", "The Flying Ship", "The Shooting of the Bride", "The Black Sword of Koshchei" and other famous stories about the adventures of the Lukoshkin militia.

The story begins with a quiet gathering in the department, where Baba Yaga tells an ancient legend about Prince Bova, who slew the Serpent Gorynych with the sword Kladenets. According to the old woman, the rare sword is kept by King Gorokh in secret dungeons. That night, an uninvited visitor tosses an apple onto Nikita’s windowsill, juicy and drenched in karachun root — a fast-acting nerve poison. Ivashov manages to partake of the poisoned fruit, but thanks to the prompt intervention of Yaga and Mitya, he survives. Due to the detective’s paleness and the onset of deep sleep, his colleagues mistakenly believe him dead and begin preparations for his burial.

During the two days of "mourning," the department manages to receive condolences, wreaths, and financial aid from the merchant class, the Armenian diaspora, the German Quarter, and the Boyar Duma. The moneylender Shmulinson delivers a gray coffin at a good discount, and Tsar Gorokh deposits fifty gold rubles on the stone cross. Awakened by the noise, Nikita, who has come to his senses, discovers that the Tsar had planned to marry him to his wayward cousin, Princess Maryana. The maiden arrived from the monastery and overwhelmed her brother with unrealistic demands for suitors: a title no lower than prince, perfect romanticism, knowledge of six languages, and the ability to lift a horse with one hand.

Ivashov secretly goes to the palace. Gorokh is glad to see the voivode alive and complains about his sister and three foreign suitors: the Estonian von Paulusus, the Georgian prince Soso Pavlinoshvili, and the Crimean Beldym-bek. To appease the capricious Maryana, the sovereign agrees to hold a knight’s tournament. The main test is to be holding the sword of Kladenets in one hand. However, before the confused spectators, a terrible revelation occurs: the crystal coffin in the dungeon has been slashed with a diamond, and the ancient sword has been stolen.

Nikita decides to conceal the fact of his recovery from the general public to give the thief a chance to relax. Dressed in white, pretending to be a ghost, the detective governor, along with Gorokh, sets out at night to investigate the crime scene. In the dungeon, they catch red-handed the cunning clerk Filimon Gruzdev, who was making a living by wiping the tsar’s papers. In the chaos, the clerk flees, screaming about ghosts. The governor notices a crucial clue: a distinct pig’s hoof print imprinted on the dungeon floor.

The next morning, Mitya, sent on a spy raid on taverns, starts a brawl in the "Big-tongued Mother-in-Law" tavern. The hero brings word that a trio of foreign suitors were planning to divide up the lands and elope to America. Meanwhile, seven of Baba Yaga’s favorite hens perish under Nikita’s window, having pecked at the second poisoned apple planted by the poisonous attacker. Enraged, Baba Yaga conducts a magical examination of the apple’s remains. Before dying, the talkative fruit reveals a secret: the poison was intended for the voivode, and Koshchei the Deathless is behind the plot. Yaga explains that the hoofprints in the castle belong to demons — minor evil spirits working as mercenaries.

To advance the investigation, the task force stages a fake funeral for Nikita. The commander is temporarily sedated with a tincture of witchcraft, placed in a coffin, and secretly buried behind the church fence. That night, "black archaeologists" — three demons with shovels — arrive at the cemetery, wanting to confirm the death of the detective commander. Nikita, awakening in the coffin, frightens the demons, the demons flee in panic, and the commander, awakening, safely returns to the station.

New circumstances emerge: Princess Maryana escaped from the tower, tying together sheets. In a note she left behind, she quotes romantic lines about freedom. Meanwhile, Ampilov, a kvass maker, and Milovanov, a sausage maker, arrive at the station. They complain about three construction workers with pig’s hooves who break down the fence at night. Nikita realizes that these are the demonic thieves. The Streltsy capture one of the horned thieves. Under interrogation, threatened with execution, the demon confesses: they were hired by a woman to steal a sword. However, while escaping, the thieves encountered an unknown person in the dark and accidentally mixed up the packages, taking away a smoked eel instead of a sword.

Yaga interrogates Maryana’s note with a candle and discovers that the girl has taken refuge in the convent of Saint Mother Purgenia. The voivode and the grandmother arrive at the convent. There they discover that Mother Fevronia (secular name Thekla from Lyalina Street) has set up a closed brothel and an establishment for blackmailing the boyars in the convent. The abbess confesses that she works for Koschei. The fugitive Maryana was indeed hiding there, expecting to send the relic with her fiancé.

A suddenly appearing demon kills Fevronia with a knife to eliminate a witness, but Yaga incinerates the demon with a curse. Mitya, arriving just in time, helps subdue the aggressive girls, but Maryana escapes again. During the interrogation of the detained suitors, Soso and Beldym-bek, it is revealed that the Estonian von Paulus was Koschei’s secret agent. He deceived Maryana with romantic delusions and took her to Bald Mountain.

Nikita and Yaga set off in pursuit on a mortar. On a forest path, they intercept Maryana’s cavalcade. Summoning a magical fog, the voivode unhorses Paulus. Yaga carries the princess off on a mortar to Lukoshkino, while Nikita, disguised as Maryana’s sarafan, goes to Koschei disguised as a hostage. In the dungeons of Bald Mountain, Koschei attempts to force the "maiden" into an embrace, but Nikita throws him over the hip. Suddenly, the real Maryana, in love with the villain thanks to Fevronia’s tales, bursts into the castle. In the chaos, Koschei leads the girls to a magic mirror, hoping to discern the deception, but instead sees the voivode’s reflection in a police uniform. Enraged, Koschei smashes the mirror with his sword, and Nikita seizes the opportunity to escape.

Meanwhile, in Lukoshkino, the alarm sounds. Clerk Filimon Gruzdev has found the very sword lost by the demons and claimed Maryana’s hand in marriage and half the kingdom. The people demand compliance with the decrees. Nikita relieves the tension: he arrives on a mortar with feathers attached, posing as the "Archangel of the Militia." The governor arrests Gruzdev for sedition and confiscates the sword. Interrogated in the bathhouse, the clerk confesses that he accidentally switched the demons’ package while carrying home the stolen smoked eel.

The final task remains: exchange the relic for Princess Maryana, who is being held captive by Koschei. A meeting place is set: the Kalinov Bridge over the Smorodina River. The voivode and his task force arrive at the bridge, followed secretly by fifty armed townspeople. Koschei appears in black armor, barely holding Maryana in check. Due to the girl’s capricious nature, the villain himself dreams of getting rid of his "bride." The exchange goes smoothly, but Koschei demands the sword, shouting the spell "Geonegon!"

The spell causes the Kladenets to rapidly grow in Nikita’s hands, transforming into a two-ton, gigantic, fanged slab of iron — the weapon of the giant Svyatogor. Unable to control the massive structure, the voivode and Mitya drop their sword. The heavy metal barrel destroys the Kalinov Bridge. Koschei and his horse fall into the raging Smorodina River and are carried away by the current. Baba Yaga casts the spell in reverse ("Enogenoeg!"), returning the Kladenets to its normal size.

The rescued Maryana renounces her romantic illusions and immediately falls in love with the newly arrived guard commander, Mishka Medvedev. The captured demons are sent to Sakhalin to serve their sentences, and the clerk Gruzdev is sentenced to severe penance for provocation. The sword-kladenets is safely returned to the tsar’s dungeons, and Lukoshkin’s police department returns to its daily duties.