Vladimir Nabokov’s "The Invention of the Waltz," a summary
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This play is a caustic tragicomedy by Vladimir Nabokov, written in 1938. The text masterfully blurs the line between objective reality and the paranoid ravings of a madman. The most striking detail of the work is the prescient description of weapons of mass destruction capable of destroying entire cities at any distance. The reader believes in what is happening until the very end, until the absurdity of the situation reaches its limit.
The action begins in the bright office of the Minister of War of an unnamed country. The official complains about spies from a hostile state and suffers from severe pain — a speck of dust has lodged under his eyelid. His personal secretary, a colonel, tries unsuccessfully to help him. After removing the interference, the minister reluctantly receives an eccentric visitor. He has been sent by old General Berg. The visitor’s name is Salvator Valls. The forty-year-old bachelor admits that this name is a fictitious pseudonym. He announces the creation of a unique device called "Telemore."
Waltz claims that his brilliant elderly relative has built a machine capable of causing colossal explosions anywhere on the planet by crossing two beams. All it takes is the press of a button on the remote control. The inventor refuses to provide the plans or reveal the location of the telemore. The minister angrily dismisses the visitor. Waltz leaves. Soon, the colonel hands his superior a note left by the madman. The note states that at precisely noon, a beautiful blue mountain visible from the office window will explode.
The clock strikes twelve sharp. Immediately after, a terrible roar is heard. The pyramidal peak of the mountain, six hundred and ten meters high, disappears in a huge cloud of dust, leaving a deep crater. Terrible panic sets in. The Minister of War faints from shock. Coming to, he orders Valls to be found and returned immediately. Guards drag the reporters hiding from under the furniture. They are tied up and led away. Valls returns soon after. He calmly reads an old newspaper and enjoys the devastating effect.
A journalist named Song suddenly emerges from a closet. The reporter advises the minister to conduct further tests of the invisible machine. Waltz readily agrees. Early the next morning, the inventor radios his mysterious accomplice to blow up three distant targets. A short time later, military aircraft record the precise destruction of a rocky island, an impassable swamp, and a deserted stretch of sandy desert.
Council of Old Generals
The minister calls an emergency meeting. Eleven old generals with similar short surnames are seated at a long table: Brig, Breg, Gerb, Grob, Grab, Mushroom, Gorb, Grub, Burg, and Brug. Three of them have been replaced by ordinary dolls. Journalist Son is reporting on the successful explosions. The old men are behaving awkwardly. One is reciting assigned poems, another is hiding a toy car under the table, and a third is constantly getting everything mixed up. They’ve even lost the report on the explosions. After much debate, the council decides to buy the device for one million.Waltz categorically refuses to sell the telemore. The inventor issues a cruel ultimatum. He demands absolute global power. If the government refuses to comply, an invisible machine will begin wiping cities off the face of the earth every five minutes. The Minister of War weeps and begs for mercy. The old man kneels before the formerly penniless inventor.
Waltz announces the beginning of a new, happy era. He orders the complete destruction of all weapons on earth, down to the last bullet. The inventor proclaims forced global peace under threat of the total extermination of dissenters. The invisible President of the Republic is ceremoniously carried into the office. An empty chair is seated at the table. The invisible head of state tacitly agrees to the dictator’s demands. Waltz remains to rule the world directly from the office of the Minister of War.
The Burden of Absolute Power
In the third act, Waltz sits at the minister’s desk. His head is bandaged. The ruler was recently shot with an air rifle in the street. The colonel is forced to act as his personal secretary. An officer reports on a catastrophic state crisis. Disarmament has provoked economic chaos, millions of people unemployed, and international conflicts. Foreign governments ridicule the ambassadors of the disarmed country or send them to psychiatric hospitals. Waltz is bored and irritated. He is tired of reading official papers. The new ruler delegates all routine work to the former Minister of War.For the attempt on his life, Valls takes brutal revenge on a neighboring state. He orders the city of Santa Morgana to be blown up. Over six hundred thousand people perish in an instant. The colonel is horrified by such senseless carnage. The dictator is completely unconcerned by these enormous losses. Valls longs to leave his gloomy office as soon as possible. He requisitions the beautiful tropical island of Palmora, orders all the tourist buildings to be demolished, and orders the construction of a grand fairytale palace in just ten days.
The journalist Son brings candidates for palace servants to Waltz. The dictator is presented with an architect, a cook, the old chauffeur Brig, the dentist Herb, a matron, a mute sports teacher, a gardener, and a doctor. Their faces and professions seem painfully strange. Waltz experiences a severe attack of paranoia. Doctor Grob tenderly tries to feel his pulse and speaks to him as if he were an old patient. The inventor becomes hysterical and rudely dismisses the servants. Then he demands that they bring him beautiful young virgins.
The dream brings only five women. The dictator asks for a carnival mask and dons a pig’s face. Among the women arriving are two vulgar girls, a mannered old poetess, and an armless cripple. The plump woman suddenly sings a prison song set to the youthful verses of Waltz himself. The dictator rips off the mask and angrily throws them out. He orders seventeen-year-old Anabella, the young daughter of General Berg, to be brought to him immediately.
The end of the great illusion
A dream brings the crippled old man Berg into his office. The general flatly refuses to hand over his Anabella. Waltz threatens to hang the old man after a long, exquisite torture. Berg laughs loudly in response. The dictator promises to immediately blow up the entire world. The old man declares that the destruction of the entire planet is better than the dishonor of his pure girl. Waltz offers enormous sums of money and legal marriage. Berg scornfully bids farewell and leaves.The journalist Son calmly informs the inventor that the game is lost. No destructive machine actually exists. The journalist steps behind Waltz and disappears without a trace behind a thick curtain. The scenery instantly changes. The scene returns to the very beginning of the play.
The Minister of War and the Colonel are sitting in his office. Both are dressed in the same military uniform as in the first act. Outside the window, a cone-shaped mountain can be seen, completely intact and unharmed. Waltz continues to frantically scream about his deadly bomb. The Minister politely asks the madman to leave the room. The inventor is in a hysterical fit and threatens to blow himself up. Security guards forcibly remove the screaming madman from the office. The great, all-powerful dictator and savior of humanity turns out to be nothing more than a poor, sick man, sent to an asylum.
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