Robert Sheckley’s "God’s House" Summary

This science fiction novel, published in 1999, is a satirical panorama of the clash between ancient mythology and American reality at the end of the twentieth century. The financial collapse of a provincial researcher triggers a chain reaction of cosmic proportions, forcing pantheons of forgotten deities to compete with stockbrokers, lawyers, and extraterrestrial civilizations.

Avodara’s parcel and the debt trap

Thirty-year-old Sumerian antiquities specialist Arthur Fenn was sweltering in the Florida heat in Tahiti Beach. He had no money. The only air conditioner cooled his chest while his back was soaking wet at his father’s old rolltop desk. A surprise visit from an elderly Syrian named Avodar brought him an ancient Hebrew text, bound in wood with copper rivets. This priceless relic contained King Solomon’s key for directly summoning otherworldly entities.

Soon, a letter arrived from an attorney with a check for twenty-two thousand dollars from the inheritance of Seymour’s uncle, who had choked on a crab. The hero’s friend, junior broker Sammy Gluck, persuaded him to invest the entire sum in a short bet on the shares of the Brazilian gold mines of Bahia. The company’s exploratory drill suddenly pierced the geological dome, revealing a rich vein of pure gold. The unlucky gambler’s debt to the bank instantly reached a million dollars. The only salvation was the eruption of the volcano Ixtruehembla, dormant since 1867.

A panicked scientist locked himself in a stuffy garage among dusty volumes of William Dean Scott. Copper coins, a dried lizard, honey, sour milk, and drops of his own blood, spurted with a fake Sabaean dagger, lay scattered on the floor. The incantation created a smoky blue vortex that transformed into a meter-long phone booth with a tiny handset. The operator’s voice demanded dryly, "Please pay five shekels for the first five minutes." After pressing the specified key combination, the borrower was immediately sucked inside the machine.

The emergency room of the Universal Cosmic Nursing Home for Aged Deities smelled of hospital-style boiled cabbage. Sister Helga escorted the guest to the glassed-in veranda, past the feeble rulers of the Universe on IVs. In the upper corridor, with a sign about violent patients, Leaflet, the forgotten supreme god of the Trojan Scythians, was discovered. A youth dressed in grape leaves agreed to blow up a mountain stratum in exchange for the perpetual right to operate on Earth. The agreement was sealed with signatures on parchment.

The Rise of the Cult of Notrezab

The volcano erupted overnight, turning Brazilian mining operations into a lake of solidifying lava and destroying five indigenous settlements. Shares plummeted. The investor’s profit reached three hundred thousand dollars. The Federal Securities and Exchange Commission froze payments pending an investigation into the suspicious transaction.

Leafy settled into the summoner’s bedroom along with his companions from the Xuluville penal colony. The house was filled with the turnip-headed torture goddess Luuma, the infant-devourer Yaah, and the pre-Columbian spirit of betrayal Rotte, with eyes on his fingertips. The celestials devoured raw blood sausage by the quintal, stored stolen televisions in the garage, and attacked police officers. Mimi, the fiancée who came to visit, saw the bloody pigskins and broke off their engagement.

The quick-witted Sammy Gluck quickly assessed the scale of what was happening: "Monstrous — that’s the only adjective a modern man can use for the divine." The broker’s organized religion of the ancient gods, NOVTRESAB, instantly conquered the state. Arthur was dressed in the brocaded oriental robes of a messiah. Neighboring plots were annexed to form a sacred temple precinct, and voters’ votes were bought at drunk-drinking stations for free drinks.

Love Conspiracy and the Twins’ Discord

The unauthorized invasion of immortal beings caused a sharp pain in the fabric of the space-time continuum. The protective impulse of the Universe gave birth to the supreme god Asturas, with an innate knowledge of the duty to save the universe. A spider at the Weaver of Worlds factory pointed the traveler to the earthly semi-divine agent Dexter.

At that very moment, a second brother, the treacherous Ahriman, was born on the celestial farm. Bitter envy of his firstborn drove the twin to seek the destruction of the old cosmic order. Separating his double, the rebel stole concentrated Arachne’s venom from the constellation Scorpio, used to lubricate arrowheads. Secretary Monica read an alarming report to headquarters: "Fenn is to be struck by Cupid’s arrow, which will force him to fall in love with the goddess Mellicent."

Asturas was transported to a noisy party on Tahiti Beach as an invisible ghost. A nudge from the boy who shot him deflected his trajectory right next to a potted palm tree. The magical tip pierced the shoulder of the young Syrian patroness of fertility, Mellicenta. The girl felt an irresistible attraction to the stooped host.

An attempt to wash away the obsession at a specialized clinic on Pochinochny Ryad, accompanied by the sounds of the Dance of Sanity, failed due to a silver pendant bearing a portrait of her mortal lover. Wishing to overcome her beloved’s inhibitions, the beauty sought the advice of the elder Minoch and presented him with an enchanted iron ring. The jewelry instantly transformed Arthur into a stately, golden-haired, two-meter-tall demigod with powerful muscles. Physical intimacy ended in embarrassment. Soon, the goddess discovered metaphysical dream photographs, implicating the messiah in secret dreams of his runaway bride.

War of the Titans and the Space Armada

The defeated Agent Dexter enlisted the help of the unknown god Scabbers. The attempt to eliminate Leafy resulted in a massacre in Oregon at Multnomah Falls, where the entourage was celebrating the local basketball team’s victory. An enraged Luuma knocked the alien down with a tourist tower and lashed him with a half-kilometer-long railroad track.

Scabbers’ incinerated skeleton crashed into a Florida suburb, was struck with a baseball bat by the homeowner, and regenerated thanks to his indestructible divine DNA. Appearing in Arthur’s dream, the crippled warrior extracted advice to seek allies among alien civilizations.

The journey to the Algol system united the warring races of the pumpkin-headed Heads and the upright Limbs under the banner of sacred vengeance. In the Forbidden Plaza, before a million-strong crowd, the battle cry rang out: "Aliens, to your ships!" The golden flagship led the colossal fleet through subspace directly to Earth orbit. In outer space, the equally powerful brothers Asturas and Ahriman clashed in endless hand-to-hand combat.

Singularity, Tribunal, and the Creation of the World

A prophetic omen in a New York Times crossword puzzle foreshadowed Arthur’s final crisis. Dexter admitted defeat. Packing his backpack, the messiah shifted to the realm of higher powers. The descending red cube of the Help File suggested a way to save Earth by installing a gravity trap. A special device, the Proportioner, allowed the heroes to enter a fractional dimension without a predetermined scale and, with their bare hands, move a suitable black hole the size of a garage. Riding a deep-dwelling cosmic leopard shark, the travelers reached the multifaceted Singularity and persuaded it to erect an event horizon in the path of the alien squadrons. The translucent Universal Censor suddenly appeared and attempted to erase the man from existence to avoid paradoxes. The Help File took the blow, disintegrating into sparks to save its charge. The black hole swallowed the alien armada, along with Leafy’s retinue.

The higher gods placed the savior in the dock in the cosmic tribunal. The metallic prosecutor accused the mortal of threatening the disintegration of matter. Mellicent, who stood up for her lover, publicly acknowledged the strength of her feelings. The judges offered a compromise: reset the clock to the moment he purchased the Brazilian shares, gift the gambler with money, and erase the memory of the divine contacts. The hero categorically refused to forget his experiences or betray the Syrian goddess. Facing the supreme judges, he defiantly replied: "In truth, I simply refuse to concern myself with a universe that could fall apart solely because of my actions."

The ceiling of the hall split in two. The bronze head of the philosopher Francis Bacon pronounced the sentence of eternity. The decrepit universe finally dissolved into nothingness. On the gigantic illuminated stage of the new world, the former participants in the drama took their final bow before invisible spectators and melted away. The voice of the renewed cosmos declared Arthur the sole surviving creator, ruler, and measure of reality, offering an endless feast in a space of absolute freedom.