"Fish in a Teapot" by Elvira Baryakina, summary Automatic translate

This book is an ironic detective story, created in 1998, and its distinctive detail lies in the fact that it was Elvira Baryakina’s first published work of fiction, co-written with Anna Kapranova.

Starting a business and a sudden meeting

Lilia Roshchina is studying finance and trying to develop her own modeling agency, "Lilia." The company’s financial situation leaves much to be desired. The debit and credit balances are completely inconsistent — expenses far exceed revenue. The office is sparsely furnished. A stuffed deer hangs indifferently on the wall. The only fax machine is temporarily borrowed from a friend, Dmitry Pushkin, the director of an advertising agency.

Lilya’s assistant works alongside her every day. He’s a journalism student named Vanechka. He’s distinguished by his phenomenal memory, unconventional mind, and incredible laziness. Vanechka regularly shocks the public with loud declarations of his sexuality, paying tribute to current fashion.

The modeling business is losing money. Stingy advertisers are refusing to pay for fashion shows and presentations. Suddenly, an elegant foreigner named Marko Brodich walks into the office.

He works as a professional scout for the major agency "World Best" — a person who professionally seeks out new faces for the modeling industry. Marco searches for promising models for lucrative contracts abroad. He saw Lily’s face on a huge billboard and decided to track her down in person. Lily falls in love with the mysterious foreigner. She forgets about work problems and her exams and begins dreaming of romance.

Student life and the search for sponsors

Lily’s life is torn between the modeling business and the rigorous demands of university studies. During a lecture on life safety, the students are faced with a difficult test. The strict professor demands a detailed description of a protective gas mask. He also asks her to accurately draw a diagram of a high-voltage power line. Lily attempts to cheat from the greedy class monitor, Gorshkova, but fails.

An ambitious student, Kolya Trubin, constantly hangs around Lilya. He proudly calls himself Lieutenant Rzhevsky. Kolya dreams of being known as a great ladies’ man. In reality, he’s a pale and bookish young man.

Meanwhile, the enterprising Vanechka sends out press releases — short informational messages for the press. He’s actively seeking sponsors for the upcoming casting call — the selection of suitable girls to participate in fashion shows. Lilya goes to the city television and radio center. She wants to attract the attention of wealthy investors. She watches the well-fed businessmen with their expensive cell phones.

Vanechka puts his exceptional communication skills to good use. He easily makes useful connections in business circles. Marco also eagerly participates in the agency’s day-to-day life. At one of the public schools, he and Vanechka rescue a small homeless kitten. They safely hide the animal in a sink from the strict inspection committee.

Preparing for casting

Lilya lives in a cramped student dorm with her pragmatic friend, Galya. Galya is dating an artillery cadet named Lesha. Her friend constantly gives Lilya helpful life advice. She recommends actively pursuing Marco’s heart.

The girls spend hours discussing every casual glance from an attractive foreigner. They enthusiastically tell fortunes with playing cards. The friends hatch bold seduction plans. Galya works at the Harmony joint-stock company, which wholesales household goods. Lilya is trying to secure financial support from them for her fashion show.

The weekends are spent in intense, exhausting work. Lilia is filming a commercial for a local television station. She struggles with the upbeat narration. After ten unsuccessful takes, she records an audio message inviting her to the "Graf" club. Galya is also preparing for an evening date with her cadet. She curls her hair and applies bright purple lipstick.

At a noisy student party, Lieutenant Rzhevsky is being pushy. Marco notices Lily’s intense anxiety and tries to comfort her.

Conflicts and curiosities

Early in the morning, Lilia wakes up with anxious thoughts about the previous evening. Lieutenant Rzhevsky, the attractive student Boris, and several random fellow travelers find themselves in the back of a frozen truck. This happens after a wild, sleepless night.

Vanechka coolly organizes the modeling agency. He’s very straightforward and openly argues with his boss. Lilya carefully examines her bruises from her recent unfortunate experiences. She nervously checks her watch. She’s waiting for a call from Marco. Time is ticking inexorably. The agency’s acute financial problems remain unresolved.

Galya rudely wakes Lilya with loud screams. She threatens to spill her precious nail polish on her. Lilya refuses to get up. She enjoys a pleasant morning sleep.

An unpleasant detail soon comes to light. Lieutenant Rzhevsky has been taken to the police station for his heavy drinking. He fears the legal consequences and begins hiccuping convulsively. Lilya laughs heartily at his ridiculous misadventures. She generously invites her classmates to her costume party. Vanechka is heartily amused. He listens to the Lieutenant’s fantastical, fictitious tales of his supposed love affairs.

Registration of fashion models

The final days before the important event are approaching. Lilia successfully passes three regular tests and one difficult differentiated exam. She’s employing new, clever methods for creating discreet cheat sheets.

Her relationship with Marco is limited to occasional phone calls on strictly business matters. Lilia is constantly sad. She thinks only of him. Galya seriously suspects her roommate of food poisoning because of her strange, wandering smile. At night, Lilia has a terrible nightmare about the complete failure of a modeling casting she organized.

Early one morning, Tachanka, the pet turtle, wakes up in a desk drawer. The girls joyfully kiss her hard shell. They consider this awakening a sure harbinger of great good fortune. Lilya and Vanechka urgently go to the fashion boutique "Monika" to buy stylish outfits for the models.

The official, rigorous selection process for the participants begins at the club. Vanechka confidently takes the microphone. He announces the registration of the models in the monotonous tone of an air traffic controller. Lilya is deeply concerned about the event’s ultimate success. Tension gradually mounts among the participants.

Completion of the selection and Marco’s departure

Sponsors provide five bulky, complex floor lamps for the fashion show. Contestants must gracefully walk onto the stage with these heavy lighting fixtures in hand. The event demands maximum commitment and the concentration of all organizers.

During a tense casting, a beautiful, tall blonde unexpectedly approaches Marco. She whispers intimately in his ear. Lilia immediately experiences a sharp, painful pang of jealousy. Marco silently gathers his expensive professional equipment. He hurriedly prepares for his imminent departure.

Lilya bids Marco a cold farewell. She feels a huge, ringing emptiness inside her. The taste of his last kiss slowly fades on her lips. Marco’s car speeds away. Lilya is certain their paths in life have diverged forever. She struggles with her last strength to come to terms with this crushing loss.

It’s a cold New Year’s Eve. Lily wakes up in a quiet, empty student dorm room. The ill-fated sponsored floor lamp she won the day before sits forlornly next to her.

New Year’s denouement

Lilya feels lonely and deeply unhappy. She has no one to celebrate with. She has nowhere to go on this festive evening. She decides to head out into the frosty street to buy some basic groceries. Lilya slowly approaches a street vegetable stand.

She asks the saleswoman to weigh two kilograms of fresh cucumbers. The angry, tired woman responds with open rudeness. Lilya spends a long time carefully selecting five huge, green, pimply cucumbers. She carefully places them in a plastic bag. Lilya pays with small change.

Near the neighboring tobacco kiosk, Lilia slips on icy bumps. She falls straight into a deep, cold snowdrift. The snow had recently been swept away by diligent street cleaners. The bag flies from her weakened hands. The cucumbers she had bought scatter far and wide across the white snow.

The ample hood of her sheepskin coat slips down over her nose, reliably blocking her entire view. Stunned by the sudden, powerful fall, Lilia sits helplessly in the soft snow. She struggles to hold back bitter tears. She feels deeply hurt.

Suddenly, with a sharp movement, she throws back her hood, which is in the way, and freezes in utter amazement. Someone familiar and beloved stands silently right in front of her. He carefully hands her the dropped bag of groceries.

Marco returns. He gently takes Lilia under the arms. Marco confidently sets her down on her frozen feet. He carefully brushes the wet snow from her warm sheepskin coat. Marco quietly asks where she plans to celebrate the coming New Year.

Lilya, confused, replies that she doesn’t know yet. Marco firmly and categorically declares that they will definitely spend this winter holiday together at his house.

He tenderly asks what exactly he wants to give her for the celebration. Lilia gazes intently into his deep dark eyes with long, fluffy eyelashes. She sincerely asks him to give her only himself.