"The Fierce Landgrave" by Andrei Belyanin, summary

The story of the return of the thirteenth Landgrave of the Nameless Sword, Lord Skiminok, to a parallel fairytale world, was created in 1999. It is the second part of a popular humorous triptych that combines classic canons of chivalric romance, everyday humor, and satire on modern times. The book is part of the author’s "Sword Without a Name" cycle, following the first part of the same name and preceding the novel "The Age of Saint Skiminok."

The Landgrave’s Return and the Search for a Squire

After a period of peaceful life in his native Astrakhan, Lord Skiminok receives a disturbing phone call from Lochheim. His page Lia and squire Jean Bulldozer report a new threat: the fugitive Prince Raumsdal is searching for the so-called Riesenkampf’s Teeth — ancient relics of his family capable of granting him boundless power and allowing him to raise a tyrant heir. Realizing his friends are in trouble, Skiminok leaves his apartment and sees a fabulous white horse at the entrance, with the Nameless Sword attached to its saddle. The magical horse instantly transports him through space, right to the gates of Ristyle.

At the capital’s walls, the Landgrave defeats two arrogant knights, their armor jammed and lying in the dust, and then enters the city with honor. Received by King Plymouth Rock I, his pregnant daughter Liona, and the Russian Prince Zlobynya Nikitich, Skiminok learns some unpleasant news. Strange, bald-headed Hare Krishnas in orange togas roam the city streets, beating drums and disturbing the townspeople. Squire Jean, seduced by their teachings, joined this sect, shaved his head, and left his service. Page Leah, loyal to her lord, lived in a hut near the bronze monument to the Landgrave. Skiminok finds the girl and then tries to recapture the squire in the market square. A skirmish ensues, with fanatical Hare Krishnas pulling out fang-shaped knives and a young witch apprentice, Veronica, attempting to cast a spell, accidentally causing the cultists to croak loudly.

The Palace, Conspiracies, and the Rescue of Bulldozer

During a royal feast celebrating the hero’s return, an assassination attempt occurs: a long, blued knife thrown through a window pins the back of Skiminock’s oak chair, who is saved by a chance fall on a slippery slice of bacon. A dandelion brand — the symbol of a clan of assassins — is discovered on the blade. Soon, King Plymouth Rock I himself is ambushed: the enchanted Bulldozer plunges a triangular tooth-knife into his ribs. The ruler is near death, and Jean is hunted. The political situation in the country collapses, and barons on the outskirts rise in rebellion, seeking to seize the throne.

Skiminok and Leah set out to find their escaped squire. They are attacked by bandits in the forest, but their leader, Krivoy, is killed by a mysterious mercenary with a well-aimed throw of a black knife. The heroes overtake a group of Hare Krishnas, who discover Jean under an enchantment. During the battle, as the captured Skiminok and Leah are about to be executed, the Landgrave has an idea: he forces Leah to kiss Bulldozer. A simple kiss, with a devastating crack, breaks the spell, and the knight returns to normal. However, for attacking the king, he faces the chopping block. On the scaffold in Ristayl, Leah saves Jean by invoking an ancient custom: she announces her intention to marry the criminal. For disturbing the peace, Prince Zlobynya banishes the hero and his servants from the city until the sovereign recovers.

A Journey to the Dark Side and the Enchanted Castle

Seeking answers about the Teeth of Riesenkampf, the company visits Queen Tanithriel in the floating Lokheim. The Queen reads dire prophecies about the Teeth — the source of plagues, wars, and the rise of Darkness. With Lokheim’s help, the heroes are transported north to the border with the Dark Side, where they lift the siege of the castle of the old knight Sir Charles Lee, nicknamed the Cook, forcing Baron Hrum Hrom de Horst’s army to flee at the mere name of the ferocious landgrave. Heading into the mountains, the companions repel a night attack by wild dwarves, who wound them and steal their supplies.

Baron Chrome de Horst, who they encounter, hires Skiminok to rescue his fiancée, Boombrumgilda, who is languishing in the enchanted Labyrinth of Count Laps de Art’s castle. The heroes infiltrate the castle, destroy the vanguard monsters, and find a buxom, incessantly laughing princess who has stolen a magical ring from her master. After escaping the Labyrinth, the companions are ambushed by the baron’s army, surrounded by monsters that have escaped from the castle. In the ensuing chaos, most of the attackers are killed. The heroes, forced to change into women’s dresses they have found, move further into the Dark Side.

After being captured by the Obsessed Orcs, from whom Skiminok and Leah are saved by the timely arrival of Bulldozer, dressed in a woman’s dress, the heroes meet the true goddess of beauty, Katariada. The celestial maiden provides them with familiar clothing and points them in the right direction. However, soon another attempt is made on Jean’s life: a black knife with a dandelion design plunges into his shoulder blade. Enraged, Skiminok repels the attack of the black knights and then finds refuge in the estate of Baron Bess — a horned scoundrel who openly warns his guests of his intention to betray them at the first opportunity.

The Secrets of Riesenkampf’s Teeth and the Final Battle

While Jean recovers, Skiminok, with the help of the dragon Rabbit, finds a Hare Krishna military camp with a giant black bronze idol. Returning to Bess, the Landgrave subterfuges the idol’s accomplice by mixing sunflower oil into its milk, causing the metal idol to experience severe diarrhea. Soon, the mercenary Luna, the creator of the black knives, sneaks into the hero’s room. The girl confesses that she has drawn the short end of the stick in the clan and is forced to carry out Baron de Stat’s orders, despite being in love with the Landgrave.

Skiminok rides a dragon to the witches’ dungeons, where he rescues Veronica from an unwanted marriage to the sorcerer Jacob Singelhofer. Returning, the heroes reunite with the arriving Lockheim and head for the granite peaks known as Riesenkampf’s Teeth. At the castle gates, Luna, trying to protect the hero, accidentally fires her crossbow, and a heavy crossbow bolt pierces Skiminok’s chest.

The Landgrave finds himself in another world, where he encounters Death. After much drinking and theological debate, Death, at the request of the goddess Katariad, agrees to release the Landgrave, granting him a fifty-year reprieve. Skiminok’s spirit returns to his body during the public execution of Luna, orchestrated by the grief-stricken Queen Tanithriel. The resurrected hero rises from the coffin, terrifying the troops of Raumsdal, Grandmother Gnoylenberg, and their allies.

Together with his friends, Skiminok infiltrates the Zubov citadel. In a secret bunker, they discover a biological engineering laboratory containing a floating vessel containing a black brain — the basis for cultivating new Riesenkampf tyrants. By breaking the dome and setting off the clockwork, the hero triggers a catastrophic explosion. After crushing the enemy’s defenses and killing Baron de Stat, the team escapes as the ancient Zubov citadel collapses in on itself, burying the remnants of dark magic beneath the rubble.

Returning to Bess’s castle, the Landgrave unravels his love affairs with Tanithriel and bids farewell to Luna, who has departed to fulfill a new commission. Suddenly, the goddess Katariada appears and announces that it is time for the hero to make a life choice and return home. Skiminok is instantly transported to his home world, Astrakhan in the 1990s. Five years pass, and he has a son, but at night he often gazes at the moon, awaiting the new encounter promised by the goddess.