"Let’s Play, Dragon!" by Dakha Taratorina, summary

This book is a humorous and romantic fantasy about a professional bodyguard, published in 2019. The crucial plot element lies in the paradox of the main characters: a tough mercenary from Earth takes under her wing a weak, naive dragon alchemist from a parallel dimension. The girl refuses to fulfill the dirty contract, standing up to protect her innocent target.

An unexpected deal and a hermit’s lair

A security agent codenamed Tansy suffers a severe blow to the head during a firefight on Earth. She awakens on a cold stone altar in a parallel dimension called Limbo. Two richly dressed men stand before her: the chairman of the council of mages, Juvenalius, and his fussy adviser, Lorenzo. The mages hire the bewildered Tansy for an astronomical sum. The task seems perfectly simple for the experienced fighter. A local fire-breathing monster named Leonard is to kidnap Tansy as an innocent maiden. Finding herself in the beast’s lair, the mercenary is tasked with stealing a secret alchemical project. Tansy agrees, anticipating an easy job and a quick return home.

The mercenary walks through the mountains for a long time and finally reaches a cave. Pizhma expects to see piles of bones and gold, but the reality turns out to be completely different.

Instead of a terrifying beast, she is met by a skinny, shaggy young botanist. Leonard has absolutely no idea how to transform into a dragon. His neat dwelling is cozy. He enthusiastically studies science and brews potions. Leonard doesn’t kidnap princesses or terrorize villages. On the contrary, village men regularly come to the cave with pitchforks, wanting to beat the hermit for fun. Tansy realizes the elders on the council have deceived her. The agent decides to protect the helpless scientist. The girl goes out to the crowd of peasants and quickly knocks the aggressive attackers to the ground in hand-to-hand combat.

Leonard is working on a transformation potion, desperately hoping to restore his lost ancestral gift. At night, the alchemist secretly ventures into the swamps to retrieve a rare component. Tansy quietly follows him, acting as his bodyguard. In the thick fog, they encounter a carnivorous monster — a red runner. The creature eats away the flesh of its victims with acid.

Tansy uses her pepper spray, hidden in her underwear. A stream of caustic gas blinds the monster, allowing Leonard to safely rip out the runner’s glowing organs. Returning to the lab, Leonard adds the ingredient to the boiling cauldron and drinks the concoction. The transformation is only half-effective: the young man transforms into a tiny, scaly dragon the size of a cat.

Meeting the Family and the Magi’s Trial

According to Limbo’s laws, otherworlders cannot freely roam the dimension without a sponsor. To protect Pizhma from arrest, Leonard officially declares her his fiancée. The couple descends into a picturesque village, where Leo buys comfortable clothes for his companion. The young couple then visit Leonard’s friend Bird. The village womanizer often mocks his friend’s weaknesses. The mercenary breaks the young man’s nose, fiercely defending her charge’s honor.

Then they travel by carriage to the alchemist’s parents’ wealthy estate. Leonard’s mother, Lenore, had previously headed the council of mages for many years. This stern, gray-haired woman smokes a long pipe and despises weakness. Her father, Sam, was once a simple groom, but Lenore married him out of genuine love. The mercenary bravely duels her mother-in-law right in the garden, dodging fireballs. The women develop a mutual respect.

Chairman Juvenaly is dissatisfied with the alliance. The mages use a trick, teleporting Pizhma to their dungeons through a phone screen.

An old man shackles a girl among the weapons of the Inquisition. He threatens the mercenary with a spiked whip, demanding that she hand over the secret discoveries of the ancient Angussons. Leonard, dressed in a richly embroidered waistcoat, bursts into the council meeting. To save his friend, the alchemist tosses Juvenalius a flask containing the results of his many years of labor.

The Chairman is not appeased. The Council forces Tansy to undergo a test by the Primordial Tree. This powerful deity nourishes all of Limbo with living magic. The Tree transfers the girl’s consciousness into the illusion of a past earthly life, forcing her to forget reality. Leonard forcibly breaks the bonds that bind him, enters a magical trance, and pulls his beloved from the haze. Tansy’s name turns out to be fictitious; the mercenary’s real name is Euphrosyne.

The Revolution and the Birth of a Monster

The mages throw a lavish social reception. Tansy, wearing a tight dress, and Leonard sneak into an abandoned office, hoping to retrieve the stolen potion. They hide in a narrow, dusty closet and accidentally overhear someone else’s conversation. The old witch Zinerva and Advisor Lorenzo discuss overthrowing the government. Lorenzo leaks incriminating evidence against Juvenal, proving his illegal actions. Zinerva removes the chairman from his post.

Tansy jumps out of the closet and snatches the flask from the terrified Lorenzo. The fat advisor manages to wound Leonard with a fiery pulsar and escapes. Later, the terrible secret of Leonard’s brother’s death is revealed. It wasn’t Juvenalius who killed the ideal heir, Nevlin. Young Imogene, Zinerva’s daughter, accidentally pushed the unfaithful Nevlin out of the window during a heated argument. Old Juvenalius merely covered up the death.

Rejected by all, Juvenalius escapes custody. The old man and a detachment of soldiers head to Leonard’s cave. The sorcerer takes the unarmed alchemist hostage and chains him to a table in the laboratory. The former chairman forces the young man to finish brewing the stolen red potion. The missing ingredient is the fresh blood of the true heir of the Angusson family. Leonard deliberately adds caustic chemical impurities to the cauldron. Juvenalius drinks the boiling mixture.

The magic of the ancient Angussons erupts. The old man instantly transforms into a colossal dragon, covered in impenetrable coal armor. Driven by rage, the sorcerer shatters the stone vaults of the cave. Juvenal flies out, determined to burn the Primordial Tree to the ground. The black lizard firmly believes that mages cannot be trusted with the boundless power of a deity.

The Battle for Limbo and the Final Choice

Tansy, Lenora, Sam, and several dozen armed villagers rush to the rescue. The villagers want to save Leonard, considering him "their" local dragon. An enraged mob with pitchforks breaks through the cordon of soldiers. Old Zinerva blocks their path. The witch uses an ancient staff with a sealed mist, creating hundreds of faceless ghost clones. Tansy bravely slashes at the phantoms with a stolen sword named "Dimon." Lenora scatters countless enemies with blue lightning bolts.

Imogen betrays her distraught mother, saving the people from a magical army. The girl takes the powerful staff and gives it to Lenora. The sorceress smashes the artifact on the stones, destroying all the ghosts. Zenerva retreats to the ruined estate. There, the witch activates an ancient bas-relief of a golden serpent on the high ceiling. The iron monster comes to life and attacks the Angussons. Tansy destroys the supporting columns, and the ceiling forever buries the giant metal reptile beneath it, along with Zenerva.

Leonard swallows the last drop of the modified concoction. The weak alchemist’s body becomes covered in hard red scales.

The youth finally transforms into a huge scarlet lizard. Tansy leaps onto her lover’s back. They soar into the stormy sky, pursuing the black Juvenal. The black serpent is already pouring hot fire onto the green crown of the Primordial Tree. Leonard rams his enemy at full speed, mercilessly tearing the old man’s dark scales with his sharp claws.

Juvenal, exhausted by a long, unhappy life, deep wounds, and pain, realizes the futility of the battle. The black lizard folds its broken wings and voluntarily throws itself into the burning branches. The ancient deity mercifully embraces the weeping old man. The mighty branches extinguish the flames, granting the weary mage long-awaited eternal peace. The danger of Limbo’s total annihilation is forever past.

The scarlet dragon lands softly next to the surviving Tree. Leonard returns to his human form and drapes a piece of charred cloth over his bare shoulders. The deity opens a shimmering portal to Earth in the trunk. Tansy pauses at the threshold between two vast universes. Earthly reality promises her the familiar cold loneliness, gray city routines, and eternal melancholy.

Limbo frightens the mercenary with its magical unknowns, but it also offers true, genuine freedom. The young man confidently turns the girl to face the portal, inviting her to make a conscious, independent choice. The alchemist softly calls her by her true, forgotten name. He asks Euphrosyne to remain in Limbo forever as his legal bride. The story ends with this luminous, open question, leaving the heroine one step away from the most important decision of her life.